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Aug. 26th, 2009 06:31 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
correctiveshoes621Dark have been my dreams of late..
There was a baby. A newborn. I guess it was mine, as I was digging through my daughter's old things (with much affectionate nostalgia) to show her what hand-me-downs this baby could wear. She and I were laughing and hugging, but I never saw said baby. My son was there, too, but was much younger, oddly enough.
My mother was arguing ('off-camera') with me about this person that I'd been defending - the baby's father, apparently, though I didn't know who he was - saying, 'If he's so great, such a nice man, why did he take that naked picture? It's horrible, etc' - and I was so shocked, as I didn't know what she was talking about.
Then, my son came running in with what looked to be a book cover, only torn, but thick, glossy paper, like a, 'coffee table book' - and on the back cover was this black and white photo of my late husband, naked, and with an obvious erection, writhing in torment, tied onto a cross. The base of the cross was in deep, dark water that was swirling all around and choppy.
I know.
My mother was right, it WAS horrible. I was shocked, because I had no idea that my husband had posed for such a photo. The author of the book was William Shatner - and I was AGAIN shocked, because it's Leonard Nimoy that is the professional photographer...
WHAT. THE. HELL.
I blame that damned movie, this morning. Sounds about right, RIGHT?
There was a baby. A newborn. I guess it was mine, as I was digging through my daughter's old things (with much affectionate nostalgia) to show her what hand-me-downs this baby could wear. She and I were laughing and hugging, but I never saw said baby. My son was there, too, but was much younger, oddly enough.
My mother was arguing ('off-camera') with me about this person that I'd been defending - the baby's father, apparently, though I didn't know who he was - saying, 'If he's so great, such a nice man, why did he take that naked picture? It's horrible, etc' - and I was so shocked, as I didn't know what she was talking about.
Then, my son came running in with what looked to be a book cover, only torn, but thick, glossy paper, like a, 'coffee table book' - and on the back cover was this black and white photo of my late husband, naked, and with an obvious erection, writhing in torment, tied onto a cross. The base of the cross was in deep, dark water that was swirling all around and choppy.
I know.
My mother was right, it WAS horrible. I was shocked, because I had no idea that my husband had posed for such a photo. The author of the book was William Shatner - and I was AGAIN shocked, because it's Leonard Nimoy that is the professional photographer...
WHAT. THE. HELL.
I blame that damned movie, this morning. Sounds about right, RIGHT?
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no subject
Date: 2009-08-26 10:46 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-08-26 10:55 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-08-26 10:55 pm (UTC)He was a nice man, but he never got away from his torment (and it eventually killed him). You still love and have fond memories of him, particularly during the infancy of your relationship. He is part of your kids.
You want his new existence to be untainted by his past existence. New life, new baby - perhaps rebirth? Maybe even your new world without him should be untainted by his past. Death is not just an end, it's a beginning too (his was a beginning for both of you). You don't want to vilify him but there's no denying the way his addiction seeped into your world.
Conflicting feelings about how he hurt you and your kids vs how you should feel about him now that he's dead. Don't speak ill!
The church; movie stars; fandom fascinations - all of them are equally fantastical and part of an arty existence but not the reality - thus the religious aspect of his life/death is a photograph (taken by Shat, no less!) and not in your real (dream real) life.
Good dream. Interesting. Hmmm.
no subject
Date: 2009-08-27 12:53 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-08-27 03:14 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-08-26 11:34 pm (UTC)That is one weird dream.
no subject
Date: 2009-08-27 12:53 am (UTC)Maybe it was Teh Shat, hanging on that cross in, 'The Devil's Rain', a little bit, too..;)
no subject
Date: 2009-08-27 04:06 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-08-27 04:05 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-08-29 12:57 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-08-31 03:25 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-08-28 04:26 am (UTC)I keep having dreams that my teeth are crumbling and falling out. Almost every night. Not as detailed/deep, but I wonder what *that* means?
no subject
Date: 2009-08-29 12:56 am (UTC)I WANT PIE.
no subject
Date: 2009-08-29 08:09 am (UTC)*GIVES YOU PIE OMG*
no subject
Date: 2009-08-29 12:14 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-08-30 06:26 am (UTC)K, I'm officially creeped out.
I better watch what I say about my subconscious around here. <_<