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Jan. 14th, 2009 05:27 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
correctiveshoes621OMG. I just met the hottest man.
Tired as I was - coming home from Walmart (using the $25 dollar giftcard I won at today's seminar, by playing, 'Abuse Bingo' - whoot), where I got my son two nice shirts for Graduation, tomorrow - I, uh. Oops....I kindasortaDID run a redlight - on a corner. No turn on red. In the middle of town. Wearing no seatbelt...Whoops.
..INSTANTLY, this Batman-looking unmarked car with police flashers comes flying out of nowhere - so, of course, I pulled over.
Out comes the HOTTEST cop I've ever seen.
Think a slightly balding Colbert (OBVIOUSLY all his testosterone burnt that hair right offa the top of his head - see my icon and use your imagination)..with no glasses but the twinkliest dark eyes and grin and the TIGHTEST black uniform and one SMOKIN' hot body. ZOMG. Big ol' gun a-hangin' on his belt, too. And that's not ALL he was packin'.
Our car is piled high with bags of stuff; with my Colbert bag sitting grandly on top..and I'm digging for my license/registration/insurance, which are all good, mind you...and having a terrible time; fumbling..while he's smiling away, while I flounder...and and and I asked if I could get out of the car, because I had this huge trench on and could barely move and he says, 'Oh, no..I'd rather you not get out of your car onto this busy highway.' - all sort of..well. I'd say it was my imagination, but my son thought he was kinda flirty, too. So, anyway; I couldn't find my registration, because I'd dumped out all the masses of cds, etc in my Colbert bag for the seminar, and I'm trying to explain this to him because I *KNOW* my pprwork's all good, 'Gah, can you tell I work night shift?', and he was very nice and said that if I would be kind enough to wait, he'd look it up for me. Well, okay, hot-stuff; like I have a choice..
As soon as he got into his car to check, I said to DJ, 'OMG HE'S SO HOT!' and DJ claims I'd been doing the batty-eyelash thing - well, NOT LIKE I COULD HELP IT - but I *did* notice that he had nice hands and no wedding band. Didn't have the mind to look for his name...DUH.
SO. I find my registration - DJ had handed it to me, and I *didn't even notice thru the BLINDING FOG OF HOT* - so, I sorta waved it thru my open window, all triumphant, and out he comes. Again.
He splatted me down SO bad, hehehehhehe..all while twinkling and shit:
"You know that you ran a red light...if you'd even LOOKED to your left, you'd have seen me sitting RIGHT THERE", my jaw dropped - SPLAT - "And there's no turn on red there - that ALONE is a $109 fine...and this will add THREE POINTS TO YOUR LICENSE, and your insurance will go up, if you're found guilty."
"'IF I'm Found guilty'? Well, it's not like I could just LIE, Sir..I mean, I..did it. But, I've been really lucky with this car insurance - it's my ONLY bill that doesn't go up! It goes down! I've never had any 'points', though.."
"You do realize that you both are not wearing seat belts, and THAT'S at least sixty-five dollars apiece for THAT fine."
"........."
"We're not going to have this problem with you AGAIN, are we, Miss?"
("Miss"? WTF?)
"No sir! My son is trying to get his license and this is a terrible example; I'm so sorry, babble babble blah blah babble"
And then, he just handed me back all my pprwrk, and I swear, he touched my hand, and sort of held onto the pprwrk stuffs and asked, "Are we going to have this trouble with you, again?"
"......." *shakes head*
He let go of my stuffs (and my finger) and just said, "Be safe driving home, Miss....Happy New Year.."
And we were all, OMG THANK YOU, OMG!!!, while we struggled with our seatbelts.
OMG.
So...what does a girl have to DO to get arrested, eh?
Tired as I was - coming home from Walmart (using the $25 dollar giftcard I won at today's seminar, by playing, 'Abuse Bingo' - whoot), where I got my son two nice shirts for Graduation, tomorrow - I, uh. Oops....I kindasortaDID run a redlight - on a corner. No turn on red. In the middle of town. Wearing no seatbelt...Whoops.
..INSTANTLY, this Batman-looking unmarked car with police flashers comes flying out of nowhere - so, of course, I pulled over.
Out comes the HOTTEST cop I've ever seen.
Think a slightly balding Colbert (OBVIOUSLY all his testosterone burnt that hair right offa the top of his head - see my icon and use your imagination)..with no glasses but the twinkliest dark eyes and grin and the TIGHTEST black uniform and one SMOKIN' hot body. ZOMG. Big ol' gun a-hangin' on his belt, too. And that's not ALL he was packin'.
Our car is piled high with bags of stuff; with my Colbert bag sitting grandly on top..and I'm digging for my license/registration/insurance, which are all good, mind you...and having a terrible time; fumbling..while he's smiling away, while I flounder...and and and I asked if I could get out of the car, because I had this huge trench on and could barely move and he says, 'Oh, no..I'd rather you not get out of your car onto this busy highway.' - all sort of..well. I'd say it was my imagination, but my son thought he was kinda flirty, too. So, anyway; I couldn't find my registration, because I'd dumped out all the masses of cds, etc in my Colbert bag for the seminar, and I'm trying to explain this to him because I *KNOW* my pprwork's all good, 'Gah, can you tell I work night shift?', and he was very nice and said that if I would be kind enough to wait, he'd look it up for me. Well, okay, hot-stuff; like I have a choice..
As soon as he got into his car to check, I said to DJ, 'OMG HE'S SO HOT!' and DJ claims I'd been doing the batty-eyelash thing - well, NOT LIKE I COULD HELP IT - but I *did* notice that he had nice hands and no wedding band. Didn't have the mind to look for his name...DUH.
SO. I find my registration - DJ had handed it to me, and I *didn't even notice thru the BLINDING FOG OF HOT* - so, I sorta waved it thru my open window, all triumphant, and out he comes. Again.
He splatted me down SO bad, hehehehhehe..all while twinkling and shit:
"You know that you ran a red light...if you'd even LOOKED to your left, you'd have seen me sitting RIGHT THERE", my jaw dropped - SPLAT - "And there's no turn on red there - that ALONE is a $109 fine...and this will add THREE POINTS TO YOUR LICENSE, and your insurance will go up, if you're found guilty."
"'IF I'm Found guilty'? Well, it's not like I could just LIE, Sir..I mean, I..did it. But, I've been really lucky with this car insurance - it's my ONLY bill that doesn't go up! It goes down! I've never had any 'points', though.."
"You do realize that you both are not wearing seat belts, and THAT'S at least sixty-five dollars apiece for THAT fine."
"........."
"We're not going to have this problem with you AGAIN, are we, Miss?"
("Miss"? WTF?)
"No sir! My son is trying to get his license and this is a terrible example; I'm so sorry, babble babble blah blah babble"
And then, he just handed me back all my pprwrk, and I swear, he touched my hand, and sort of held onto the pprwrk stuffs and asked, "Are we going to have this trouble with you, again?"
"......." *shakes head*
He let go of my stuffs (and my finger) and just said, "Be safe driving home, Miss....Happy New Year.."
And we were all, OMG THANK YOU, OMG!!!, while we struggled with our seatbelts.
OMG.
So...what does a girl have to DO to get arrested, eh?
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no subject
Date: 2009-01-14 11:07 pm (UTC)By the way, where did you get this Colbert bag of which you speak?
no subject
Date: 2009-01-14 11:10 pm (UTC)Borders website, woman. Get thee to Borders.
no subject
Date: 2009-01-15 01:59 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-01-15 03:44 am (UTC)THANK
LOVE YOUR ICON.
no subject
Date: 2009-01-14 11:18 pm (UTC)I mean, uh... yeah! I'm glad you didn't get a ticket!
no subject
Date: 2009-01-14 11:20 pm (UTC)*facepalm*
*SUCH a dork*
Dood. We had JUST come out of the convenience store RIGHT THERE on the corner. I know he saw us come out..get into the car...and break that law. Guh.
But GAH. Dood.
no subject
Date: 2009-01-14 11:42 pm (UTC)'Abuse Bingo' - heheheh
no subject
Date: 2009-01-15 03:55 am (UTC)I know. They couldn't come up with something MORE festive?
no subject
Date: 2009-01-14 11:48 pm (UTC)are you sure you didnt drive into a set of some sort of soft porn film?
it all fantastic, especially that he let you off and no big massive fine!
no subject
Date: 2009-01-15 12:46 am (UTC)softHARDCORE PORN tonight!no subject
Date: 2009-01-15 04:06 am (UTC)Here? In this house?
*cries*
I wish.
no subject
Date: 2009-01-15 04:03 am (UTC)Damn. I WANTED that. He probably let me off so he could escape..
no subject
Date: 2009-01-15 12:17 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-01-15 12:26 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-01-15 05:20 am (UTC)..but DAY-um, dood.
no subject
Date: 2009-01-15 12:45 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-01-15 05:23 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-01-16 01:23 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-01-15 12:47 am (UTC)::runs away::
no subject
Date: 2009-01-15 05:22 am (UTC)No. Way.
..well, maybe.
no subject
Date: 2009-01-15 03:32 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-01-15 05:25 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-01-15 08:05 pm (UTC)Sounds like some weird S&M game.
No turn on red.
I still remember when I first saw the moviem "Annie Hall". Woody Allen's character says about Los Angeles: "I don't want to move to a city where the only cultural advantage is being able to make a right turn on a red light." Hmm...it seems it can have other advantages as well.
;)
no subject
Date: 2009-01-16 02:37 am (UTC)