(no subject)

[correctiveshoes621]

I am just really relieved.

Things are just so fucking incredibly complicated, sometimes. I am ashamed of my anger, but it was born of absolute frozen panic and pain.

December of last year, I was in the same sinking boat, and she just happened to be in the neighborhood for the ROTK Premiere to pull my ass out of the drink. She had given me a strong dose of Tough Love over the pc a time or two, as well..when I was just this fucking gushing open wound.

I *know* the place she was in; well enough to draw up a map. The only difference is, I have a tendency to rail and bleed and carry on and write and write and write..and she builds an impenetrable wall.

It must have been my fucking ego..to be so angry and hurt that she did not try to share any of these burdens with me. Pride. Plain and simple. Selfish pride.

I am so sorry. Now you all know what a fucking creep I can be.

I gotta go see Pete. Laters.

Comments

[renoir-girl.livejournal.com]

wait--which is the creepy part? The part where you hit bottom or the part where you wanted someone you needed to need you, too?

[indiwise.livejournal.com]

It's just too complicated. But, trust me on this one. There was nothing I could do..had no fuckin' clue. But I shoulda. I don't know. Maybe she doesn't need me, but. No, that is not true. She needed me and I wasn't there, was oblivious. Whatever. Something like that.

[renoir-girl.livejournal.com]

Well, I know it's very difficult for helpful people to ask for help a lot of times. That certainly doesn't mean you were responsible. You did well before, letting people know you were in pain and needed a helping hand. If she doesn't do that, it's her choice. You aren't a mind reader. Nobody is.

[indiwise.livejournal.com]

Well, I have a small hand in it, I think. Just one less leg holding up an already unstable table..and I pulled it out from under, anyway. I don't know. Will just have to wait and hope to hear from her.

[renoir-girl.livejournal.com]

I do hope things turn out for the best.

[gayalithiel.livejournal.com]

Does that mean everything is...kinda okay again for her? I've been wondering. Don't really like to see anybody in pain...

Hope you're having fun tonight! I think I am! I shall post about it tomorrow! *smooch*

[indiwise.livejournal.com]

I don't know about, 'okay', but, as of this writing, she is alive.

Oh, and I will post, you betcha. (If this hunkajunk lets me, that is.)

[gayalithiel.livejournal.com]

Oh and...Nice Icon!!!

So...did you guys make 'The Trip' today? Hmmm???

[indiwise.livejournal.com]

Heh. Right back atcha.

This present icon I am using came courtesy of the lovely BG.

*hugs her with delight*

...and no. We kinda had a trip of our own kind. Heh.

[foxykc.livejournal.com]

We don't do thing because we think we'll get something out of it. We have to put the idea of recompene. We just help people because they need it. That's all.