"My heart is cold, my heart is black...it stops every FUCKING night...I WAIT until it stops....

[correctiveshoes621]

....SING, BIRDS..SING, BIRDS...SING, BIRDS, SING...GET AWAY......GET AWAY....GET AWAY....." -- 'Give Me It', by the Cure.

So tired. SO Goddamned tired.

I have to get up in like, less than four hours and get ready for the B-52s concert..and drink martinis...and be like, bubbly and happy and shit..and I just don't honestly think I can do it.


THEN, tomorrow..we will have threeeeeee CNAs on again. WTF is UP with this? Damn near killed me last night. How in the hell are we supposed to pull this off?

We were so shorthanded...The Bells of Saint Mary had NOTHING on this place, last night...Mr. D. kept trying to get out of bed..almost fell twice..Same with Charlie. Same with Mrs L -- who was swearing that the previous shift had dumped trash all over her (this is the new woman, who swore there were fish under her mattress, and made me crawl around on the floor and look for them).....Poor Mary was going, 'IDONTKNOW, IDONTKNOW, IDONTKNOW' at the top of her lungs all night (they took away one of her meds) -- SHE WAS LEFT SITTING IN HER CHAIR WHEN I CAME IN...the previous shift had not even washed her UP...and the penultimate?

The new guy, Mr. P -- who weighs nearly four hundred pounds, mind you -- got into his wheelchair, and -- everyone was SO damned busy that NO ONE NOTICED (he is not on my wing) THAT HE GOT OUT THE FRONT DOOR AND WAS HEADING FOR THE FUCKING HIGHWAY.

Thank GOD, Cheryl was coming in early and got him.

Unbelievable.

And they actually had two notes posted for us on 11 - 7 on the break room door....asking if any of us could stay until 9 am to help serve breakfast...and oh, by the way -- could we get four of the residents on A Wing up/washed/dressed while we were at it?

Boggles the mind, it does.

My man was so bad and mean and nasty that I had to just leave the room and go smoke a cigarette. I didn't get him any coffee, my eyes were smarting with tears. As I was going around the corner, I heard on the Goddamned Muzak the chorus to, 'Don't Let the Sun Go Down On Me', by Elton John. Fuckin' Godamned coincidence, made me cry. I got him the damned coffee.

He looks terrible. I don't want to leave it like this.

I am so tired.

Comments

[gayalithiel.livejournal.com]

God, that song would make me cry right then too. I'm so sorry you're so tired. Wish I could help. Just remember, not long now! :)

[timberwolfoz.livejournal.com]

No words, just *hugs*