(no subject)

And, once again, I have the feeling that I've done something horrible, and yet, I'm not really sure what it was I did, or how, or what I could have done differently or what sort of terrible person I am, now or..

Ha. I was close to a panic attack of some sort when I hit the door this morning, due to work, but, now? Oh, yeah. I've been really level for a long time, now. Was it false, all this time? Have I been blind? Have I been a certain way and not realized it? What? Jesus Christ, I hate this shit.