(no subject)

[correctiveshoes621]

Dammit. God dammit.

Rest in peace, Mrs. B.

Just got a message on the dreaded FB from my old boyfriend and prom date, K. He informed me that his mother had just passed away on Friday, and went on to say that the place that she passed away was so wonderful, but that several other facilities that she'd been at were, 'just a mess' -

- I had her at my workplace, and, yes, he named it by name.

I was only on her wing for a short while before being put onto my normal wing, but, yes, she DID remember me, and, yes, she WAS disappointed that I was off work that first weekend, because he was coming to visit. I should have TOLD him. If only on FB. I feel like a heel of the first order, but could not break confidentiality OR be held solely and personally responsible for her care.

I will say that PERSONALLY, I did my best. On that, I can sleep soundly. But I should have told him, right? I did, just now, in my response, and apologized for whatever circumstance soured him so. I can only imagine, as I've SEEN it, firsthand. It kills me that he's going to think that I'm, 'just like all the rest', of our staff. I'm NOT.

Damn. The ONE time I keep my big mouth shut.

Comments

[quixotic-elixir.livejournal.com]

Fuck, I hate when 'doing it right' and doing what you think is right directly clash. *huge hugs*

Sorry, luv.

[indiwise.livejournal.com]

Yeah. Feeling pretty ashamed, about now.

[piratesorka.livejournal.com]

Surely he has to realize that the state of affairs of an entire facility does not rest upon one overwhelmed and underpaid worker.

I bet he does not think that you are like the rest.

[indiwise.livejournal.com]

Well, we shall see. I've not heard back from him, so. I'll just carry on.

[ask-you78.livejournal.com]

There's no reason to be ashamed, you do your best, and that shows you do care. Don't let it get to you.

[indiwise.livejournal.com]

Maybe it's ego, maybe it's..I dunno. But I've not heard back from him, yet, and Gah. That says something to me. I know I'll get over it, sort of - but someday he WILL know the truth. She was a very sweet lady, and was very good to me.

[lunarising.livejournal.com]

Oh Indi, don't beat yourself up. I'm sure he'll come around and understand eventually. As long as you know in your heart you did your best, and you say you did, don't lump yourself in 'with all the rest'. He knows you and I'm sure now that he knows you were there, maybe he'll think you were one of the bright spots in her last days.

And condolences to you and him and his family. I don't know how you do it and God bless you for your work.

[indiwise.livejournal.com]

What kind words. Thank you, baby; you never cease to astonish me. ♥

[indiwise.livejournal.com]

one of the bright spots in her last days. - what I strive for, always. Luna, I honestly love my people - - I've been blessed a thousand-fold each day - much more than I could ever give.

If I can make someone smile or laugh, it's EVERYTHING.

This morning, a dear, dear woman; you CAN'T imagine the bright star this person is, like a china doll, with dimples for days - the one who woke up suddenly, one night, and decided that she and I were going to be door-to-door vacuum-cleaner saleswomen, and that I'd better be 'ready to roll by eight-thirty' - - had a nightmare, and I was blessed with the opportunity to listen to her story of how her father had drowned before he and her mother had the chance to take their long- awaited honeymoon. What a gift, to be the one to hold her hand and assure her that she WOULD get to meet her father, one day. That our bodies are just, 'the cars that we ride in (pg)', and that it's our SOULS that matter. They NEVER die.

God, I'm going on and on, but I really am blessed to have this job. No lie.