Ho. Ho. Ho.

Getting ready to leave here in a few to...Yes, Virginia....play Santa at the grocery store where my sister works. Found out last night that they do NOT provide a wig. Just the suit and a beard. Now, my hair is nearly waist-length and chestnut..how convincing do ya'll think this will be? Enter 'Samantha'..'Santa's Helper'?...do you think they will buy it? I have an old pair of wire-rimmed glasses from my daughter, and used some old pinkish eyeshadow to make my cheeks as 'rosy' as humanly possible..but, still.

The things we do to put food on the table..

Think Sam..Think Sam..Think Sam...

CanNOT believe I have to miss the Eagles playing..grr.

BG. Where are you?

Wow.

Actually, I had a BLAST doing the Santa thing. Go figure. Easiest fifty dollars I have ever made..I may go back on Tuesday, heh.

Turns out they DID have a wig..but no belt. So what. Everybody loves free candy; and we had chocolate Hanukkah coins as well as the classic candy canes..several people thanked me for 'the diversity'--nothing for Kwanzaa, though..The little kids were so. darn. cute. -- especially this one little boy, about four or so, who RAN from the other end of the store with his arms out wide and just about tackled me. Their faces just shone, and one father told me that I was the first Santa that his daughter didn't 'scream in terror' over. I took this as a great compliment.

The adults were a hoot, as well -- especially the elderly folks; and the line of the day was? This one hipster doofus said, 'Oh, gee, Santa; you seem a little effeminate..', in a dry monotone. Without missing a beat, I said, 'Well, that's because the Fab Five got ahold of me..big improvement, huh?' His wife just cackled..yeah, baybee..SHE got it. This other woman kept saying that I looked 'so familiar', and I said it was because I have been appearing on greeting cards for hundreds of years now. Heh.

Anyway, I was the worst Scrooge ever..and really needed this. And you know what is the funniest thing about it? They said I was the best Santa they have ever had. Cool.

'Only the Young'. Thank you, Luna.

(no subject)

*BLOODCURDLING SCREAM*

BY ALL MEANS! LET'S HAVE MORE KIDS! MORE! LOTS AND LOTS AND LOTS OF KIDS! WHO NEEDS A LIFE, ANYWAY?????

*HAIR TURNS WHITE AND HEAD EXPLODES*