Ohhh...

IwantthisjobIwantthisjobIwantthisjob...

That's it. Junk food for supper. And homemade cheese biscuits, to boot.

I am out of control.

* ~ * ~ *

I woke in the deep
of Four-Thirty-Alone;
gasping and wide-eyed,
with fists of tight stone..
I tore,
oh, so ragged and sudden, with teeth,
into the neat, ordered weavery
of silence..

..from a nightmare
of treading dark water
and fog
thick as lies, thick as thieves,
thick as ME for too long;
and of marbles
all rolling away and downhill..
All those bright colours running;
they run from me still.


Empty,
I felt,
when it dawned on me;

That

I

Simply

Didn't

Miss

You.

..and never did, really;
even while you still lived here..


Kissing the difference,
long-lost and forgot,
of littlest consequence..
..now, it seems naught
-- between dreams
and out-cold --
between slumber
and near-fatal coma --
A Final Offhand Goodbye;
so long have I waited.

Then the realization came,
fast and so strong..
Stinging like razors, yet sweet as birdsong..
Bold as Vegas neon!
Vast as outer space!
As obvious as ice water thrown in my face--
that all I really missed
all this time
was myself..
..and the once Good Ol' Days of me,
dust on that shelf;
now,
within my grasp once more --
I stretch and yawn, alive --
my Second Coming.


Then, full and aware,
I lay back, fairly solitaire;
yet no longer
completely alone.
Snuggled
in fear for the future,
but content at long last, on my own..
..with just me
for the first time,
now, 'tis enough.
Comfortable, cozy...for now, not so rough;
with the company
of God
and fat pillows to hold me,
I sank, again, to rest;
my hope renewed.