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Jun. 8th, 2013 01:07 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
correctiveshoes621Blah, blah, blah - restless as hell, these days. I suppose that's to be expected, given that this is the month of my upcoming Birthday of Horror, but, damn, I'm feelin' that it's time for a change. I just don't know how to go about it, sans money..time..energy...those all-important things that seem to be in ever-dwindling supply.
Free time? What's that? When I do have free time - I waste it, it seems. Doing chores...reading...watching media...and, of course, on this box.
Sleep? What's that? I actually feel guilty when I can sleep.
The upside/downside of this age thing is that I suffer fools less. At work, with family, with friends - more and more, I'm letting folks know EXACTLY what I think. SO people seem to think that I'm, 'snapping/snappish' - and, most likely, a total bitch.
Tough.
I've lived my entire life for other people, it seems - and I'm kinda over it..though, I'm sure they'd all say the utter opposite. Of course, they would. Lose/Lose.
I'm tired of the poverty thing.
I'm tired of cats.
I'm tired of being responsible.
I'm tired of the abuse/scapegoat-ism at work.
I'm tired of being in pain/exhausted, all. the. fucking. time.
Wapakoneta is being pushed further and further from my grasp, and that realization actually made me cry, the other night. Bloody hormones.
Dan would have been forty-nine, today.
Easily my favorite version of this song. SUCH happiness, therein - with extended joyfully-singing little Volkswagens, at the end (starting around 06:31) - which, somehow..oddly...ALWAYS make me teary-eyed, for some reason:
Free time? What's that? When I do have free time - I waste it, it seems. Doing chores...reading...watching media...and, of course, on this box.
Sleep? What's that? I actually feel guilty when I can sleep.
The upside/downside of this age thing is that I suffer fools less. At work, with family, with friends - more and more, I'm letting folks know EXACTLY what I think. SO people seem to think that I'm, 'snapping/snappish' - and, most likely, a total bitch.
Tough.
I've lived my entire life for other people, it seems - and I'm kinda over it..though, I'm sure they'd all say the utter opposite. Of course, they would. Lose/Lose.
I'm tired of the poverty thing.
I'm tired of cats.
I'm tired of being responsible.
I'm tired of the abuse/scapegoat-ism at work.
I'm tired of being in pain/exhausted, all. the. fucking. time.
Wapakoneta is being pushed further and further from my grasp, and that realization actually made me cry, the other night. Bloody hormones.
Dan would have been forty-nine, today.
Easily my favorite version of this song. SUCH happiness, therein - with extended joyfully-singing little Volkswagens, at the end (starting around 06:31) - which, somehow..oddly...ALWAYS make me teary-eyed, for some reason:
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