Cars. Snow, snow, snow, snow, cars and more snow.
You guys wouldn't believe me if'n I toldja.
It all started with my son, trying to be helpful. Honestly. "Gee, you really should lock your car with the evil hillbilly neighbors." He meant well. Unfortunately, he locked my passenger side door..and the lock thingy is only a little stick with no ball on the end; the ball, being a long-ago skeleton head that has since gone AWOL..SO, he locks the passenger side and we cannot UNlock it. The 'stick' went down into the door, and even the key doesn't help, because, well..the stick went down into the door.
No problem, right? We'll just crawl across the driver's seat and unlock it, right?He goes to open the driver's side, and the lever inside the handle simply broke off in his hand.
We just stared at it. What the hell. Now, all my mail, rock salt, everything is LOCKED IN MY CAR, and we can't open either door.
No problem, right? I'll just take HIS car to work for a couple days, until I get it towed to the garage.
Um. I can't get it towed, because I can't pop the parking brake because I can't get into the car..
So, I drive his car all week, LOVING it because it has a CD player (mein Dieter-Galileo has no radio or anything) and I can listen to William Shatner speaking Shakespeare as only he can, and it's just too much for me...then? IT SNOWS. AND SNOWS SOME MORE. AND HIS CAR IS AN AUTOMATIC, WHICH IS PRETTY MUCH USELESS IN SAID SNOW..
face My Biggest Fear ™, though; coming down the 90-degree driveway from Hell that you've all heard me bitching about? THE CAR FISHTAILS
...and I literally slid down the mountainside SIDEWAYS
...AND JUST AS I GOT ABOUT FIVE FEET FROM RTE. 322? A HUGE SEMI-TRUCK WENT BY..
if I'd NOT smoked a cigarette while warming up his car and had left seconds earlier? I'd not be typing this, now. Srsly. I almost peed my pants, folks, literally, and my knees were still shaking so badly by the time I got to work I could barely get out of the car and I almost barfed. And that's all I have to say about that.
NOW? LAST NIGHT? He calls from his buddy's place, telling me to get another ride to work - some belt is slipping and making a hideous noise. I'd heard that, yeah, but thought I could get to work with it, still. I managed to get to work, but this morning when I came out? It wouldn't start - HOPEFULLY, it's 'just' the alternator belt and can be tightened/replaced - it seems to be, as it drained the battery. My brother came over and jumped me, and I got home, but when I went to restart it? No go.
SO, NOW WE HAVE TWO USELESS CARS, SITTING IN THE DRIVEWAY.
So - my only solution? Break my driver's side window to get in. I know. I had to duct tape it - hoping most of the glass would stick to it - but I honestly couldn't do it. Completely unable. I love my car too much. So, my goof-ass brother takes a hammer and swings like mothahfuckin' BABE RUTH and glass flies EVERYWHERE. EVEN INTO THE BACK WINDOWSILL OF THE CAR. LiEk, EVERYWHERE.
...and then, it started snowing again.
....Annnnnnnnnd, I can't get the car to the garage until tomorrow morning. :)