..........

[correctiveshoes621]

What *is* it about the Cure that clears a room?

I honestly don't get it.

Sometimes, I wish someone understood..but most times..ahh..Fuck it.



'J slash esS-ence'


I feel your eyes,

and night rushes in around me --

sudden and trembling and huge;

smothering now,

all the green progress mine,

towards the death I've always called, 'Normal'..


That so-naive notion

of, at last,

fitting in; of blending away into fake,

the vicious erasing of my innate WRONGness..

that sweet tang of 'other' I leave in my wake..

..my leftness of center of gravity-skewed...

'til I was long-gone..

and, alas..so were you..


It was only to please the unpleasable...

I tried, I did; I....tried.


That much too-large costume;

the pastels, they grate..

So obviously fashioned for someone I'd hate --

I toss it aside -- with a hiss

and some spitting

and scream to the sky..

'cos it never did fit right.



Drowning me backwards, I fall-lazy-fall;

headlong into memories, thought long-dashed to gone.

..of proud private bleeding,

and lone nighttime shakes

..heavy fists against glass, and the music it makes;

all broken inside me..

The blossoming grows,

..and I revel, a mad thing;

the shards twinkle and glow....

and cut

like warm butter

into shade-flesh that KNOWS;

my blood-brother.



The wall you now wear

like some tight, fierce-wound chain;

grown sharper, these years away --

the curve of your pain..

The instant-deep stabbing of bitter, that gaze;

and such ANGER, so heavy,

it strips down and flays

loose

the long-lost Alone,

that strange boy in your face;

Yeah, the one in mine, too --


-- Never DID know 'His Place'.


Scent of leather and spice and

patchouli and sweat,

hides the stench of cold-panic..

'cos that's what we get --

STUPID, STUPID, I stutter inside me -- you bet;

for believing.