correctiveshoes621 | (no subject)

Weird, weird, weird. Looking backwards, because I really cannot see ANYTHING in the future, any further than, "Drag your ass thru work, tonight, and the next night and on and on, until the next day off." I still wake with dread, each day - it's just to a new master, it seems.

And, as for on here? What happened? I used to really speak my mind, on here. Used to really let my hair down, and put it out there. Now? It's kinda hilarious, because my barest updates are just that - bare - who am I afraid of offending? Whose feelings am I guarding? Why pretend? It's not like anyone's left to read it, anyway. In a lot of ways, it's worse, now - because I seem to no longer value reverie. Have no time to dream, nor even care to. The ONE and ONLY thing that was EVER a sure thing with me - the ONE part of me to which I had no doubts, attached - my artwork, my words - has been dead for so long.

The world used to be alive with magic, and, now? It's just grey aches and poverty, and that ever-present metallic taste in my mouth.

What the hell WAS that, in the sky, last night?

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I hope you are just having a grey day. I really would hate to see less of you and what you put out there... But you are right LJland is just not the same anymore. Still, it beats a helluva lot of other places I wouldn't give two cents for.

Oh, I am. Honestly. Yet another mid-life crisis or somesuch. But something's wrong, something's going on or about to; strange feelings, strange sleepwalking days. Or I may just have finally tipped over the edge.

Oh, and I'll be on LJ 'til they kick me out, I expect - you know me. I totally agree re: other places, at least, currently. *shudders*

Pete and I spent a lot of time together in the past two days - culminating in me calling out work, tonight - first time since December (but I'm sure I'll get shit for it)! But, anyway, we talked about this shit. This getting-old/gotta-make-changes shit. Everyone's just so tired. I know I am.

yeah, things ain't the same. i miss the good old days.

have a peter gabriel video of one of the most beautiful songs ever composed, bb.

Thankyew for teh medicine. ♥

you're welcome, bb

<<<<<3

Bare it.

But there's no 'bare' THERE! That's the problem! *needs a nap

Awh feeling a little of the same here too. Just gettin' up going to work and coming home to emptiness. No desire to draw or do creative things. Just too tired. But I have to keep hopin it'll be worth it in the long run; least that's my therapist says! Anyway, I enjoy reading your journal so don't you go anywheres!

It will; it will be worth it. I'm fighting to Phoenix my way out of this status quo, myself; I have to. And I know what you mean - you nailed it, The Lack of Desire is what's so scary.

I may have never have been one for bright, shoiny colours, but it seems like - like there's not even any of my ever-trademark shadows around..No...Contrast. Maybe, that's it. I don't want to live in a grainy, dull-grey Winston Smith sort of head. And that's where I'm heading. Just bled dry and grey.

And what IS it with the tiredness? EVERYONE'S tired, it seems.

Life gets grey sometimes, and I hope you can shake it up.

Have a Space Messiah!