correctiveshoes621: (Katya2)
I'll be so glad to get this month *over*...

It went from my hot water heater basically blowing up (it looked like the command module of Apollo 13)...Sending water gushing down onto a grounded electric wire (leaving me with no heat, no electric) my car dying REPEATEDLY (three tows in five days) and them not being able to figure out what it was, and and..a million seemingly little things - IE: losing my wallet..and work continuing to suck beyond all reason.

But most of that is resolved, now.

The RuPaul's Drag Race queens continue to run rampant. Thank Gawd the new season is starting soon, as I'm jonesin' BAD. My pick for Season 9? Charlie Hides, of course.

And THE RETURN OF BATES MOTEL, HOLY WTF DANG - so good that when I finished watching it, I had immediately go back and watch it AGAIN. No spoilers, but I will say that it required an emergency phone call to Wisconsin. And yes, I hate that Rihanna is playing, 'Marian Crane' - how cheesy and grasping and unnecessary, of them -- BLASPHEMY! -- but time will tell. Freddie Highmore has got the character down pat..down to the most subtle of gestures. Good job.

On a solemn note - and I'm not really sure how many of you are still out there that would remember her, but I was asked to pass this on -- I learned of the untimely death, this past Monday, of [ profile] lunarising from cancer. My son and I will always remember her laughter..and that trip to DC that ended up changing my entire life.

Rest in Peace, Liebe - may the road go ever on.

correctiveshoes621: (*ache)
Awwww, my dear, dear friend.

Miss Sue P, with the beautiful freckly face (I can see you solemnly and precisely pointing out each scar and how it happened) and lively hazel eyes and that smile - that smile! - that just lit the whole room - Where do I even @#$%^ begin?

SO much love.

So forward-thinking; just a beautiful, wise and enlightened soul - I'm so fortunate to have met you. So tough, you'd been through SO much, and yet, you were so fragile. Such a tender heart. And yet...h i l a r i o u s; I remember when you told that new orient that you'd just gotten out of prison and she believed you! L O L + infinity. You were never just a resident. You were my friend. Damn, Girl.

From the deep, deep south and 92 years literally screamed and clutched your pearls when you found out my mother was possibly voting for..That Thing...And Pox 'News' gave you nightmares..I will miss you so very much; I'm just @#$%^ absolutely gutted - and yet, happy for you. I will miss our talks - about God or the lack thereof; of becoming stars - I remember your eyes, round with the wonder of a child, as I made, 'tinklyfingers' when we talked about molecules rising...sparkling. I was privileged to be witness to this, your epiphany, and it came at such a perfect time - always like that with you. In synch, and both of us with a touch of 'the gift', lol..I remember your nightmare about a plane crashing..two? three? days before my trip...dun dun dun..and your stories about growing up and picking berries; I can hear the cicadas buzzing.

When you spoke, I always heard a little of my grandmother in your sweet twangy accent, and you knew that ♥

I know you and Miss Reenie are dancin' it up with those men in the trees..
correctiveshoes621: (Dream Ed)
O M G. I guess we're gonna do this thing. Leaving in a couple hours for the shuttle to Philly.

I'm 65% terrified and 35% excited. Won't lose that fear 'til I touch down in Frankfurt tomorrow morning, lol.

My luggage is full of surprises and boots and weighs an approximate shit-ton. My niece lent me a phone-that-is-only-a-camera, now, and THANK GOD I figured out how to put music on it, as the charger for my wee Ipod-thing literally broke yesterday.

I just talked to Anita on the phone and she sounds lovely. My brother (the hero in all of this, and I mean that sincerely) google-earthed her place and it's a wee adorable brick house with a neat-as-a-pin front garden. Thank God, again, that she has a peacoat that will fit me, so I don't have to try to stuff mine into the overhead bin, LOL.

Pete just started screaming at me, last night, when I tried to call him -- some emergency he was having...IE: his dvd skipped a pause or something..I balked and he heard it in my voice and launched into Lecture #1431: "You don't take anything I say seriously", and was screaming so loud, I just hung up. He fluctuates between pretending I'm not going and calling me with 'Plane disasters', and I just can't afford the negativity. I hate to leave things this way and may still try to call him to say goodbye - because I'm stupid, like that.

My daughter popped in - when I'd JUST left to go get water - - and left me a sweet note, with a feather and a rock from Hibernia Park, to take for good luck. ♥

DJ, of course, is Mr. Casual.

Still can't believe this is happening. Must be brave.

Love, PPLs. Love.
correctiveshoes621: (Jeux)
Happy Thanksgiving to all those that celebrate <3

All that remains is the return trip to Philly, tomorrow, to pick up my passport, then, some last minute laundry/packing. Then, I fly out on Sunday, the 27th..Touch down in Frankfurt, Germany for a few hours..then, on to Birmingham, which is huge.

My daughter. Made me look up schedules online, and *gave me a hundred dollars cash* to take the train to Solsbury Hill. I get a bus to Batheaston, from Bath, blah blah blah..

Yes, I cried.

If we time it right, I will be there at sunset..Twilight, the Magic Time *goosebumps*..when we saw that, we just looked at each other and I knew that she knew.

Christmas gift, indeed. LIFE gift.

You should see the hotel that Anita has booked for us in Manchester. Pretty lah-dee-dah. The Cure will be playing on the 28th, right across the street...and WHOO-HOO! I'M TAKING THE CUREJACKET ™ FOR HER TO WEAR AT THE SHOW.

I can't freakin' wait.
correctiveshoes621: (ICantEven)
Happy 82nd birthday, Carl. Almost-sorta-kinda glad you are not here to witness our demise.

I've been invited to see the boys in Manchester, UK on the 29th. Moving Heaven and Earth to try to expedite a passport. It all hinges on, a) the processing time on Paypal (have to have proof of travel within two weeks *in hand* for first-time passport), b) the processing time for the passport, itself.

If it's meant to be, it will happen.

Fuck work, I'll just put in my notice.

And srsly, fuck what happened last night. I may decide to stay.

We can form a CureColony - who's with me?
correctiveshoes621: (SiameseTwins)

If this becomes real, if it really becomes true - what I've wanted my whole life, since I was six years old - - I MUST go for it. There seems to be so little left for me, here, but a long slow slog unto death.

As my dearest friend said, "I can't think of a better happy ending for you."
correctiveshoes621: (Carl)
Getting down to the wire, here, with this #$%^&* trip. It's cost me way-y-y too much to be worth it.

So, of course, my computer's self-destructing and the clutch burned out of my car.

Oh, and you haven't LIVED until you've given CPR to someone who's obviously already long-passed..
correctiveshoes621: (hat rack)
Another hero sleeps. Godspeed, Edgar Mitchell.

 photo Edgar-Mitchell_zpsgh1vqixk11_zpscjssefcw.jpg

Now, there are only seven human beings left that have walked on the moon.
correctiveshoes621: (Bill)

It was just liEk, 'Enough is enough is enough, wtf.', so yes, I inhaled.

Why not? Life is short and my day was long and, wow. I'm so relaxed.

Cozy, even.

It's been so long, it seems a marvel. How can this be bad?
correctiveshoes621: (Time)
This is so weird to me; so unexpected.

I'm actually happy, and it's such a long unfamiliar feeling.

Wednesday night, Pete - for the thousandth time in liEk thirty years - asked me to marry him, again.

It just popped out. I said, "Okay."

I blame the Orion Nebula.
correctiveshoes621: (Default)
I literally cannot believe what tomorrow brings, and I sure don't know how I'm going to get through it. It still doesn't seem real.

I know he wanted a celebration, but - yeah, not going to be that person, and I've already promised that I wouldn't make a scene. I have no choice but to wear black. It's literally all I've got.

It wasn't supposed to be this way.

There's already talk of renaming St. James in Philly to, 'Frankie Morelli Way', and we are going to make that happen.
correctiveshoes621: (Dream Ed)
Okay - talk me down, ppl.

I talked to an amazing couple from Texas at the grocery store and am seriously thinking about becoming a....trucker.

WTF is holding me, here?

Yeah, I'm terrified of semis, in general - but the money. The Life on the Road - I would love it. Annnnnnd the money. At the rate I'm going...where I'm at - with most places being the same horrific, degrading, hardcore stress-filled, no-thanks, safety-violation-filled crap - - this may be a viable option to, a) save actual money to retire, b) preserve what's left of my health - and back/hip, in particular. The arthritis is really getting the best of me, lately - and with winter, coming..

There's just no way to work full-time, doing what I'm doing, where I do it - and do nursing school. I know. Time to face it, though.

She did say to wait until spring, because that's when most classes start - ? - sounds good; she also said what companies to watch out for...and SHE was the driver, in the family. Not the husband. HER.

So. You never know. Yee haw.
correctiveshoes621: (Dream Ed)
Yep. Yeah. Last day of vaca. Thinkin' thoughts, yo.

Contacting various places/ppl to obtain one of these: - at least, a seed from one of them. My best bet is the sycamore in King of Prussia, as it's closest, so I hope they get back to me about it. My wish is to have a seed interred with my ashes, once I'm cremated, and, no, that's not a morbid thought, it's a joyous one. :)

If you haven't seen, The Zero Theorem, let me rec' it, strongly - absolutely changed me:

correctiveshoes621: (Bill)
Did anyone else get an email re: "You haven't posted to lj in awhile, please take our survey" email? Granted, it had been three days - but Big Brother thought I needed to talk to them about it..I didn't really have any beefs/suggestions, but it did make me realize how much I value LJ and YOU PPL and its format, here. So the answers to their survey were of the, "I LOVE YOU, PLEASE DON'T CHANGE OR KICK ME OUT'-variety, really. And I meant it.

Also, granted, I *have* been spending a lot of time on Twitter..but you can blame The Astronauts/Scientists/Musicians/That Norman Reedus Guy for that..and [ profile] ffarff, who is also there.

I will try to do better. It's just that my life, lately, has been no life, at all, and much with the suckage. It's been work/exhaustion/sleep/worry/stress/pain/work/depression/exhaustion/work/stress/worry/pain, and on and on and on and trying to find some reason to carry on with it all. Work is probably literally killing me, and I've got some decisions to make, here, coming up, in regards to that - before they're made *for* me - and few options...and yay, who wants to hear all that? Even *I'M* bored with my own piddlin' drama. Sheesh. The creativity and magic that used to be ever at hand have become bitterness and self-inflicted alienation - o, how cliche', of me - and when I'm not enraged, I'm flat-line zombified and can barely function.

Rag, rag, rag. Toldja.
correctiveshoes621: (bricks)
"I'm back, baby!" - Bender Rodriguez

This really *was* my lucky day - has to happen ONCE in awhile, y'know..

Got off work and drove my ailin' pc to - - the original branch, five minutes from my house. Was the only one in the parking row, until they opened - and it worked out, amazingly.

Dale was there. Alone. The lovely gentleman with the little round glasses and salt n'pepper hair that sold me my $75 computer that lasted for FOUR YEARS. Amusingly enough, he remembered me (I sure remembered him; he's really cute) and LOL - with the help of a drill and five whole minutes, FIXED MY PC FOR FREE. I *tried* to pay him, but - as he said, he'd have gotten in trouble for fixing my computer, as it's outdated and new management dictates that he's supposed to sell me a new one, so it was GOOD that I was there on opening, and he was alone..Turns out, it was the freakin' button on the front of the computer - he showed me; it was not connecting properly to the little light-up stick that turned the pc on. SO, he drilled a hole in the front and clipped the thingy in properly, and voila! With a well-aimed press of a screwdriver/pen/nicotine inhaler thingy, I was good to go.

A million ♥ for Mister Dale.

Also, Brian Cox. Just sayin'.
correctiveshoes621: (Bill)
I guess what I meant was - LJ is coming back to life for me, with the return of some writings, and one particular person that I'd recently reconnected glad they're back, as I've missed them sorely and have always felt a strong kinship with them.

Life. Or the lack thereof. How to get back - is it even possible? Have things gone too far in the wrong direction? Too many areas to count, there - and things seem to be speeding up, all around me. I've noticed that I've systematically shut the door on numerous people, one by one, that used to be safe places for me. Too much trouble, being sociable? Or too much trouble, constantly giving? Or too much trouble, trying to make them understand?

They've finally made it impossible to do my job. Due to an accident on another shift, we are now not allowed to do care/transfer ANYONE that is a 'two-assist'. I have 20 'two-assists' (out of the present number of 34 residents) on my wing, and they ONLY schedule ONE CNA. Me. So, if I do my job? I'm fired. If I don't do my job? I'm fired. And the thing is? I *know* in my heart that if I quit? INSTANTLY, they'll schedule two on that wing.

Saw, San Andreas, and it was typical. CGI-wonderland with minimal plausible plot, but that's the formula, these days, and it was a fine example of such. As a palate cleanser, finally saw, The Basketball Diaries, and it was really good. Got me both thinking and remembering. Started to watch, The Man In The Iron Mask - it was a DiCaprio kind of night, I guess - but fell asleep.

Dreamed I was on a plane with a resident who is currently ready to 'travel' - Miss I - and I was helping her decipher the menu that a really rude stewardess was holding. THEN, a dream of ANOTHER one, my sweet Mary B - wherein she got a new room mate who was crocheting, and had these uncannily huge blue eyes.

What woke me? Someone deep inside, shouting my name. I literally woke up like a shot, wondering who it was. All in my head.
correctiveshoes621: (Bill)
Okay. Being me, I somehow cobbled together - - man, you should see it - - a set-up with an ancient megaladon monitor that takes up half my desk, the keyboard that the lovely and vivacious [ profile] distantnoises oh, so generously sent me, eons ago....and the Mein Dieter of laptops that sort of mysteriously came (sort of) back to life, this morning. No mouse or anything, but the touchpad on the lappie is hit-or-miss-working, so far - I just have to stretch to reach it, and be very, very careful..All Hail, 'The Graveyard of Elderly Technology', yo.

Ghetto-fabulous, but that's me, ya'll.

Have a rebuilt desktop on order - with XP on it, hallelujiah - - so I hope this keeps on, keepin' on, 'til then. We'll see. At least, I can do my freakin' banking, for now.

*GOOSEBUMPS* So much love for this. So very true - and, along with Carl, thoroughly shattered and rebuilt my POV on the world and faith. Bill, we lost ya too soon:

correctiveshoes621: (CarlWhat)
Fuckin' A. Of COURSE. Entire pint of Earl Grey? Meet laptop. The end.

-- until I can afford another. Auf Weidersehen, ya'll.


correctiveshoes621: (Default)

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