correctiveshoes621: (Bill)
“You are a slow learner, Winston."

"How can I help it? How can I help but see what is in front of my eyes? Two and two are four."

"Sometimes, Winston. Sometimes they are five. Sometimes they are three. Sometimes they are all of them at once. You must try harder. It is not easy to become sane.”

― George Orwell, 1984
correctiveshoes621: (*ache)
Awwww, my dear, dear friend.

Miss Sue P, with the beautiful freckly face (I can see you solemnly and precisely pointing out each scar and how it happened) and lively hazel eyes and that smile - that smile! - that just lit the whole room - Where do I even @#$%^ begin?

SO much love.

So forward-thinking; just a beautiful, wise and enlightened soul - I'm so fortunate to have met you. So tough, you'd been through SO much, and yet, you were so fragile. Such a tender heart. And yet...h i l a r i o u s; I remember when you told that new orient that you'd just gotten out of prison and she believed you! L O L + infinity. You were never just a resident. You were my friend. Damn, Girl.

From the deep, deep south and 92 years old..you literally screamed and clutched your pearls when you found out my mother was possibly voting for..That Thing...And Pox 'News' gave you nightmares..I will miss you so very much; I'm just @#$%^ absolutely gutted - and yet, happy for you. I will miss our talks - about God or the lack thereof; of becoming stars - I remember your eyes, round with the wonder of a child, as I made, 'tinklyfingers' when we talked about molecules rising...sparkling. I was privileged to be witness to this, your epiphany, and it came at such a perfect time - always like that with you. In synch, and both of us with a touch of 'the gift', lol..I remember your nightmare about a plane crashing..two? three? days before my trip...dun dun dun..and your stories about growing up and picking berries; I can hear the cicadas buzzing.

When you spoke, I always heard a little of my grandmother in your sweet twangy accent, and you knew that ♥

I know you and Miss Reenie are dancin' it up with those men in the trees..
correctiveshoes621: (Carl)
Ye Olde End-Of-The-Year Meme:

January: This is so weird to me; so unexpected.

February: Another hero sleeps. Godspeed, Edgar Mitchell.

March: OMG. I got a raise.

April: Ick. Shaky and fever-y.

May: I.

Got.

Tickets.

For.

K R A F T W E R K.


June: So, I'm back.

July: Really, really finding it hard not to freak out, here.

August: Called off.

September: K R A F T W E R K.

Perfect night, perfect venue, perfect company.


October: Nothing? For an entire month? Jeez. Shame on me.

November: Wow.

If this becomes real, if it really becomes true - what I've wanted my whole life, since I was six years old - - I MUST go for it.


December: LOL - while I was away, it seems my paid account has expired. So - severe lack of pertinent icons, omg.

England was even more wonderful than I imagined. I know, now, as I've always known, that my heart is there, and now - it is The Quest.




What a year for me! Both dreams and nightmares, coming true. Not mentioned, above - my first tattoo. For Frankie, of course - and I *swear* I made a post about the passing of John Glenn, but it's not showing up. Last of the Mercury Boys, and the end of an era.

Better days, a'comin' - have to be! Love you all ♥
correctiveshoes621: (loving!)
LOL - while I was away, it seems my paid account has expired. So - severe lack of pertinent icons, omg.

England was even more wonderful than I imagined. I know, now, as I've always known, that my heart is there, and now - it is The Quest. To return. To live there. It sounds corny, but my GOD, it called to me - as I knew it would, as it always has. Like the lovely South African, Deone, said on the train, "It's like deja vu - like remembering a place you've never been." And it was. Is. Found that I can rent a half-a-double ('terraced', as they call it) brick house with a front and back garden, fully furnished, for lesssss than what I pay for this horrific shack. Something to think about..

I love Marks and Spencer's, lol.

Three Cureshows IN FIVE DAYS. LOL. Guess there's some life left in this old girl, yet. We became quite adept at navigating the various taxis/train/Tube while we were there - - stayed at the Radisson Inn in Manchester - yessss, the notorious Manchester two-hour show.....Then, the first night at Wembley that paid for all (stayed at the Crescent Inn in Harrow-On-The-Hill)....and then, that last glorious show at Wembley on the third. My GOD. Stayed at the Euro Wembley in, of course, Wembley. We had Club Seating for every show. Unreal. It was filmed, and hopefully will be released SOON. We felt like celebrities - Anita, parading around in The Curejacket ™, and me, 'The American' - just incredible, all of it. People were posting that they'd seen The Jacket - at the shows, in the loo, on the train...LOL I LOVE IT.

And that dear nameless young man from Eastern Europe that just grabbed me and kissed me that third night at Wembley - no language at all was required - - Thank you. It wasn't weird or pervy, it was just utter complete CureJoy, as we'd been high-fiving as we both filmed. For me it was a kiss Goodbye - to the magic that was the Cure, to the miracle that was the entire trip. And entirely appropriate. But not a total, 'Goodbye'...more like, 'See you, again'..

Still speechless over it all. Somehow, I'd forgotten that there still is magic in the world.

I've woken up, again.
correctiveshoes621: (Dream Ed)
O M G. I guess we're gonna do this thing. Leaving in a couple hours for the shuttle to Philly.

I'm 65% terrified and 35% excited. Won't lose that fear 'til I touch down in Frankfurt tomorrow morning, lol.

My luggage is full of surprises and boots and weighs an approximate shit-ton. My niece lent me a phone-that-is-only-a-camera, now, and THANK GOD I figured out how to put music on it, as the charger for my wee Ipod-thing literally broke yesterday.

I just talked to Anita on the phone and she sounds lovely. My brother (the hero in all of this, and I mean that sincerely) google-earthed her place and it's a wee adorable brick house with a neat-as-a-pin front garden. Thank God, again, that she has a peacoat that will fit me, so I don't have to try to stuff mine into the overhead bin, LOL.

Pete just started screaming at me, last night, when I tried to call him -- some emergency he was having...IE: his dvd skipped a pause or something..I balked and he heard it in my voice and launched into Lecture #1431: "You don't take anything I say seriously", and was screaming so loud, I just hung up. He fluctuates between pretending I'm not going and calling me with 'Plane disasters', and I just can't afford the negativity. I hate to leave things this way and may still try to call him to say goodbye - because I'm stupid, like that.

My daughter popped in - when I'd JUST left to go get water - - and left me a sweet note, with a feather and a rock from Hibernia Park, to take for good luck. ♥

DJ, of course, is Mr. Casual.

Still can't believe this is happening. Must be brave.

Love, PPLs. Love.
correctiveshoes621: (SiameseTwins)
Wow.

If this becomes real, if it really becomes true - what I've wanted my whole life, since I was six years old - - I MUST go for it. There seems to be so little left for me, here, but a long slow slog unto death.

As my dearest friend said, "I can't think of a better happy ending for you."
correctiveshoes621: (drink up dreamers)
Watching Elon Musk's Big Mars Talk, and it's absolutely thrilling. He's talking reusable/refueling boosters (used up to 1,000 times) and carbon fibre ships - - all, liEk, within ten years or so. With a capacity for a crew of 100 - how, 'Enterprise' - - and reducing costs to under $100,000 per person, with a travel time of 80 days and possibly less. I need to win the lottery :)

I teared up when he casually dropped the fact that he's leased Pad 39A from NASA for the Big Mars Launch - - http://www.jonbrack360.com/launchpad_39a/ - - it just seems so @#$%^ fitting. PAD 39A. That's the sacred ground that Apollo 11 (and many others) slipped the surly bonds from.

What a time to be alive. I hope I live to see it; so sad that Carl Sagan is not. Dang.
correctiveshoes621: (Tongue)
 photo serveimage_zps4ubajixi.jpeg

Happy Birthday, Robert Smith ♥



Just, '♥' And this. *Never* gets old. Trippin' on this deliciousness.



LOVELOVELOVELOVELOVE.

correctiveshoes621: (lonely)
I'm sorry, but !!! Take my breath, away. It's too bad this isn't in color, as his eyes have always made him look to me like he was *made of sky* - and with freakin' ice water, runnin' through those veins..So pure, you can see right through him, right through to the sky. Dang.

Read more... )
correctiveshoes621: (Carl)
Guys. I really hatehatehate to say this, but I guess the dreaded Facebook has its uses.

Got back in touch with an old friend, and:

a) she is absolutely delightful

b) has kinda restored my faith (at least partially) in humankind

c) she was always pretty, but I don't think she ever knew it, but, now - she's gorgeous! And has no clue - adorable. And so dear. And so interesting. And so smart and funny!

d) I'd probably not be here, if it weren't for her in middle school, and it will be nice to tell her that

e) everyone's family has at least a LITTLE crazy, in it

I can't even IMAGINE what she thinks of me and all my jolly adventures of the past - but I will say she was very polite, about it - heh - and we had some great laughs. Loved getting back in touch with her - the FIRST time I was drug onto FB, she was the first person I looked for, but she'd gotten married, and was living in another state, and and and - - but this time, around, she found me, and I'm really glad.

Here's to YOU, Miss A! *toasts with coffee*

*Memories of DaVille*
correctiveshoes621: (CarlBliss)
MmmmHmm.

What little of the eclipse I could witness,
through cloud cover and trees -

stumbling endlessly
up and down the treacherous driveway of our circle
in the dark with a penlight -
alarming the neighbors
as
I
kept watch for Bigfoot -

- totally worth it.
correctiveshoes621: (Dream Ed)
Okay - talk me down, ppl.

I talked to an amazing couple from Texas at the grocery store and am seriously thinking about becoming a....trucker.

WTF is holding me, here?

Yeah, I'm terrified of semis, in general - but the money. The Life on the Road - I would love it. Annnnnnd the money. At the rate I'm going...where I'm at - with most places being the same horrific, degrading, hardcore stress-filled, no-thanks, safety-violation-filled crap - - this may be a viable option to, a) save actual money to retire, b) preserve what's left of my health - and back/hip, in particular. The arthritis is really getting the best of me, lately - and with winter, coming..

There's just no way to work full-time, doing what I'm doing, where I do it - and do nursing school. I know. Time to face it, though.

She did say to wait until spring, because that's when most classes start - ? - sounds good; she also said what companies to watch out for...and SHE was the driver, in the family. Not the husband. HER.

So. You never know. Yee haw.
correctiveshoes621: (Carl)
La la la la - off 'til Monday. Took a nice walk on the walking trail near my house - - and no Bigfoot, and yes, I kept my eyes peeled :D

Frankie, my Frankie. I'm not really the praying sort, but you never know. I'm UTTERLY not the Facebook sort, but yet, I'm back on there, again. ONLY FOR FRANKIE. First cranial surgery went unbelievably well - he was talking within an hour. They're going to hit the second and third tumors with radiation, and the lungs, as well. Long road ahead, but he is so. so. loved, by so. so. many. He's touched so many lives with his warmth and positive good humor and ENORMOUS, generous heart - he was literally 'trending' on FB, like some Kardashian, lol - this is SO not about me, but I cannot imagine my life without him. He's family, period. SO good to talk to him - he is the one person that I know, without question, that loves me. And Oh, how I love him.

And yes, I know the odds, and yes, I know the typical outcome, but IT'S FRANKIE, so let me have my denial, here.
correctiveshoes621: (Bill)
I guess what I meant was - LJ is coming back to life for me, with the return of some writings, and one particular person that I'd recently reconnected with...so glad they're back, as I've missed them sorely and have always felt a strong kinship with them.

Life. Or the lack thereof. How to get back - is it even possible? Have things gone too far in the wrong direction? Too many areas to count, there - and things seem to be speeding up, all around me. I've noticed that I've systematically shut the door on numerous people, one by one, that used to be safe places for me. Too much trouble, being sociable? Or too much trouble, constantly giving? Or too much trouble, trying to make them understand?

They've finally made it impossible to do my job. Due to an accident on another shift, we are now not allowed to do care/transfer ANYONE that is a 'two-assist'. I have 20 'two-assists' (out of the present number of 34 residents) on my wing, and they ONLY schedule ONE CNA. Me. So, if I do my job? I'm fired. If I don't do my job? I'm fired. And the thing is? I *know* in my heart that if I quit? INSTANTLY, they'll schedule two on that wing.

Saw, San Andreas, and it was typical. CGI-wonderland with minimal plausible plot, but that's the formula, these days, and it was a fine example of such. As a palate cleanser, finally saw, The Basketball Diaries, and it was really good. Got me both thinking and remembering. Started to watch, The Man In The Iron Mask - it was a DiCaprio kind of night, I guess - but fell asleep.

Dreamed I was on a plane with a resident who is currently ready to 'travel' - Miss I - and I was helping her decipher the menu that a really rude stewardess was holding. THEN, a dream of ANOTHER one, my sweet Mary B - wherein she got a new room mate who was crocheting, and had these uncannily huge blue eyes.

What woke me? Someone deep inside, shouting my name. I literally woke up like a shot, wondering who it was. All in my head.

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