correctiveshoes621: (Default)
Such a gorgeous, if not balmy, night, out. Swam thru it on the way home from the usual end-o'the-weekend-off tasks - Laundry! Groceries! - and now, back to the lounging. I'm pretty much completely nocturnal after a decade and a half of night shift, lol, and it suits me.

I hate my phone; it never, ever stops.

Imagining all sorts of sordid things regarding Gary Numan.

Had a lovely couple hours out, last night, with Pete. Despite the usual cranky-old-ppl moments, we got on, and for a little while, it was twenty years ago -- Rolling, 'parade speed' through the winding Amish roads. Under the stars, and under the spell of these cds Frankie made for Pete before his death -- I can FEEL him, there, and it's quite obvious that he knew I'd always be, 'driving around somewhere with Pete' - you can tell that they were made with me, in mind. I will never, ever stop missing him, despite him STILL being all around me ♥





ETA: Pete just called. Just now. Somehow, the conversation veered right into Frankie's music into The-Day-That-Frankie-Collapsed into The-Day-He-Died...and srsly, I had to flat-out say, "I've not properly dealt with it, you know, and I don't particularly *want* to deal with it, actually, so.."

TAKE A HINT.

Annnnd, of course, he had to tell me about this dream he had. He claimed to have told me about it, but I don't remember it and am not entirely sure if that's, 'on purpose' or not -- something about seeing Frankie in this shadowy waiting room chair, looking very confused, putting his head down - and when Pete tried to talk to him, he wouldn't answer, blah blah..

I want to help Pete to deal with this, as it's obvious that it's always going to be A Thing. The stuffs we went through, the three of us, it will always be A Thing, and well, Pete's never going to let go of it, I don't think. I love all of us, and it's not Pete's job to, 'replace Frankie' or any of that - Everything, everything, is timing. The-Night-That-Frankie-Collapsed happened a mere couple of hours after Pete had spoken to Frankie, to tell him that his love, Harvey, had died of a heart attack...so fucking incredibly tragic. Arrrrgh, I don't mean to be telling everyone's business, but - damn.

ANOTHER thing I just learned, as well -- back in the day, Pete's car had an, 'Angel-A-Day' policy, and a picture of one of Charlie's Angels was put up just above the light over the rearview. A longstanding tradition, sure, but Pete told me the origins of it, tonight.

Apparently, it started back when I first caught-pregnant and was effectively *POOF/GONE/LOST/TORN AWAY* from the intense family-like circle of friends that had been my life, up until that point. So - whenever Frankie and Pete were together, sans me, they would put up a picture of *me* above the rearview, so that I could be with them. All these years, and he never told me this? Yes, I got verklempt. ♥
correctiveshoes621: (Default)
So, I got my first tattoo, I love it, and it's perfect :D

I went by myself, and the people were so nice...To clarify, the two artists I had contact with were really nice and kinda *cute*, and that definitely helped. It literally did not hurt *at all*. I asked my artist, Herbie, if..it was working, as I felt almost nothing -- and took all of a half-hour to do, while I lay back and listened to music. The one guy hugged me when it was done, 'Congratulations' - LOL. And that was that.

http://www.tricountytattoo.com/artists2.php

I knew everything would be okay when I pulled into the parking lot of the shop. The slushie place down the row from it was happily playing -

- wait for it -

Autobahn, by Kraftwerk - over their outside speakers. I swear, on Neil Armstrong's footprint.

WTF are the odds.

If that wasn't a, 'thumbs-up' from Frankie, I don't know what else could have been ♥
correctiveshoes621: (Default)
The Perfect Storm.

Night before Frankie's birthday.

Pete on phone, in full insanity-regalia, screaming at me about how, "Frankie never got me backstage passes for the Cure because they never played, 'Let's Go to Bed' (?) and that was Frankie's favorite song of theirs'-and-wtf-blah-blah-blah-what-the-hell-are-you-talking-about-and-why-does-this-make-you-so-damned-angry-at-me, until he made me cry. All he wants to do is fight and pick at me, anymore, and today was *not* the day I wanted to deal with that.

Into - whammo! My daughter showing up with a belated and lovely gift for Mother's Day, while I blubber like a crazy person in my robe in the kitchen.

Rush into the shower and off to do laundry while some Stephen King Look-A-Like made small talk to me about the weather.

Arrive home to catch the last dregs of the Dallas show - and what song do they do in the second encore?

Let's Go To Bed, of course. I know. *makes twirly motions with finger at temple*
correctiveshoes621: (Default)
Lyrics to, "It can never be the same" - - I *toldja* it was for Frankie..
Read more... )
correctiveshoes621: (Roberty)
Wow. For once, I'm happy for social media.

The Cure. Last night. New Orleans.

I've decided, since Robert Smith is *obviously* a magical being, that the two new songs - well, one was for me, and one was for Frankie.

*obviously*


It's sort of like, "Well, I've got some wounds, here, of my own - and, even though these songs are not really ABOUT you, they're like a couple of band-aids you can APPLY to your wounds, and I hope they help."

As with oh, so many of their songs.



Step Into The Light:



It Can Never Be The Same:

correctiveshoes621: (I'm sorry Dave)
Annual Round-Up:

January - Here's wishing the very best of it - to even the worst of us ;)

February - Fine. Okay. I am owning it. All of it.

March - *SPEECHLESS: www.inquisitr.com/1885437/leonard-nimoy-funeral-westboro-baptist-church-cancels-protest-plans-cant-find-where-funeral-will-be-held/

April - So. Looking forward to this - https://www.facebook.com/JuneBugClassicVW - which is sponsored by these guys - http://www.ulrichsusedcars.com/ - - our personal mechanics; won't go anywhere else!

May - Stuffs to remember: a) poems for people who don't exist, recalling events that never happened

June - (Happy Birthday, Simon) And many, many more ;)

July - Did anyone else get an email re: "You haven't posted to lj in awhile, please take our survey" email?

August - So. I know I'm missing stuff on here - my computer stays on for brief periods, then, whammo!

September - QUITTING SMOKING *SUCKS*.

October - So so SO bummed about the Cure's impending tour.

November - There are not enough tears in the world to fill this blackest of holes.

December - Nerd-Dom at full saturation: I just downloaded and converted not one, but TWO versions of The Flash's theme.
correctiveshoes621: (*ache)
Hey, all. I'm sorry I've been so non-existent, on here, but if it matters, I've been pretty non-existent in real life, as well. The loss of Frankie has slammed so many doors shut in me - yet, has also opened so many worm-cans, I could start a fucking psychiatric bait shop. And, one of the worst things is, my filter seems to be irrevocably broken. I'm feeling things HUGE and telling people *exactly* what I think, and that is - let's face it, folks - never, EVER good.

If it helps, also, I've bailed from Twitter and my 'real' Facebook, as well. I thought I was okay with it, but all the, 'Yay! We're all going to see the Cure!'-posts are just fucking too much for me.

Too many things are suddenly just OVER. Time to move on, move on, move on.
correctiveshoes621: (Default)
I literally cannot believe what tomorrow brings, and I sure don't know how I'm going to get through it. It still doesn't seem real.

I know he wanted a celebration, but - yeah, not going to be that person, and I've already promised that I wouldn't make a scene. I have no choice but to wear black. It's literally all I've got.

It wasn't supposed to be this way.

There's already talk of renaming St. James in Philly to, 'Frankie Morelli Way', and we are going to make that happen.
correctiveshoes621: (Carl)
La la la la - off 'til Monday. Took a nice walk on the walking trail near my house - - and no Bigfoot, and yes, I kept my eyes peeled :D

Frankie, my Frankie. I'm not really the praying sort, but you never know. I'm UTTERLY not the Facebook sort, but yet, I'm back on there, again. ONLY FOR FRANKIE. First cranial surgery went unbelievably well - he was talking within an hour. They're going to hit the second and third tumors with radiation, and the lungs, as well. Long road ahead, but he is so. so. loved, by so. so. many. He's touched so many lives with his warmth and positive good humor and ENORMOUS, generous heart - he was literally 'trending' on FB, like some Kardashian, lol - this is SO not about me, but I cannot imagine my life without him. He's family, period. SO good to talk to him - he is the one person that I know, without question, that loves me. And Oh, how I love him.

And yes, I know the odds, and yes, I know the typical outcome, but IT'S FRANKIE, so let me have my denial, here.

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